hands-free oregonians.

It’s our turn, Oregon.

Beginning January 1st, 2010 Oregon will become a first-offense, cell-phone-and-driving, state. In Oregon, you will now receive a $240 ticket for driving with a cell phone in hand; you must be “hands free”.

Like that will really solve the problem of all the idiots on the road.


As Oregonians, our cell-phone experience will now consist of us imitating robots, and talking to imaginary people, with tiny devices that fit into our ears. All the while, forcing us to become more socially stupid, and still being idiots on the road.

I know. I’ve seen it firsthand. We look ridiculous.

I love when I experience a conversation with someone, and mid-talk they immediately begin having a different conversation, while remaining in front of me.

“Excuse me?” I say… because I don’t understand.

They continue their conversation as if they are brainwashed and being spoken to by aliens.

I get very confused and feel embarrassed for them. Until finally, I realize this person is not talking to me. They are speaking on the phone! Who knew…?

I feel like a fool.

But really, I try to remember, this person is simply cell-phone stupid.

Thank you to the Oregon legislature for allowing our state to join the fool-pool, where we can all wait to be diagnosed with brain tumors and act like social idiots. I can’t wait.

So, I got one. A Bluetooth. And after two hours and 45 minutes of trying to figure the damn thing out I finally have it hooked up and ready for January 1st. I guess I’m a pretty law-abiding citizen. Stay tuned.

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